Can You Let Down Your Hand
by JannP
Summary: He's been slapped before. That time, he honestly kind of deserved it and it just drove the feeling that he'd done the wrong thing home—forcefully. This time he's not sure it was deserved.  Finchel oneshot with Finntana discussion after 3X06.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ** This is pure word vomit and kneejerk reaction to the Finn-hate. Because I don't hate him and I never will. Also inspired by the song **Kindness** by **Ryan Adams**.

Disclaimer: I don't really own Glee or much of anything else.

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><p><strong>Can You Let Down Your Hand<strong>

Santana storms off when he doesn't say anything. Everyone else is too stunned to speak. It hurt, sure, but it's not like she slapped sense into him or something. His hand at his jaw is more of a reflex than anything. The only eyes he can feel on him are Rachel's, but he knows she's not the only one looking. For the first time ever, he doesn't care.

He's been slapped before. That time, he honestly kind of deserved it and it just drove the feeling that he'd done the wrong thing home—forcefully. This time…he's not sure it was deserved and he thinks maybe she's just blaming him for things that aren't his fault because he put a bunch of labels on them.

It takes another minute for him to move his arm away from Rachel and to bend down and get the backpack from his feet, ignoring every single person who's saying his name. For the record that's about half the group. A bunch of others—probably everyone besides the teachers and Rory because he was there—don't have _any_ idea what's going on or what he was talking about at all. He's not gonna say anything.

Rachel's voice cuts through as she bends down next to him, her posture a lot like the time she was comforting him at his house, only this time she's pinned between the back of an auditorium chair and the folded seat that swung up when she dropped down. It's not lost on him that she's one of like four people in here small enough to even fit between a rock and a hard place like that. He's certainly not small enough and he feels like he's stuck at the moment.

"Finn…" Rachel says, rising when he does. "What was that all about?"

He looks around at everyone else, who seem kind of frozen now that he's moving.

"Um...let's get out of here. We'll talk in the car, okay?" He mumbles. She's probably the only one who hears him, but she's definitely the only one who moves. She reaches behind her to catch his hand as she steps out into the aisle.

"Finn, wait," Schue says.

Rachel's walking ahead of him, just a couple of steps, and he tugs on her hand to stop her. He doesn't say anything to their teacher, just looks at him. Honestly, if it would've been anyone else, Finn probably wouldn't have stopped.

"There's more to the story," Schue says simply. "It's complicated now. Don't just…"

"Don't what?" Finn asks. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"I don't think Santana would agree with that."

"Well…" he replies. "That's on her. I'm not…I'm not defending her. I'm sick of all the crap she puts on the rest of us because she can't just be herself."

"It's not really for you to decide, Finn," he protests.

Finn can feel Rachel's eyes on him again and he just…he wants to explain it all to her and get her opinion because she's basically the only one he wants to talk to about much of anything. "I didn't decide anything."

"You did more than you might know," Mr. Schuester says. "Your name was dragged into another conversation and…let's just say things are complicated. You need to go talk to Santana."

Finn shakes his head. "No. Someone else go. She's nasty to me and I'm not putting up with that right after she smacked me. I didn't do anything wrong."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean it was _right_, either." There's a firm tone that Schue doesn't use with him that often and Finn isn't really sure what he means. Schue is already gathering up stuff and moving out of the auditorium, probably to go find Santana, and Finn just rolls his eyes. He looks at Rachel.

"Can we go please?"

_Now_ he can feel the others starting to close in. He just needs to talk to her. It seems kinda weird since she's the last one that made his jaw sting like it is. She's also the only one that will get through to him once it goes numb like he knows it will.

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><p>They don't actually go talk in the car. They go to her house because that was the plan. Her Daddy is already home from work and made (bought) a snack. He's not uncomfortable talking to her in their kitchen at all. It's probably way better than the car. It also helps that she sets him up with a snack before she sits next to him at the island counter and then turns to face him entirely.<p>

"So what was that all about?" She asks, her voice soft and her hand on his leg.

"Well…I guess I only know part of the story," he says slowly. "If what Mr. Schue is saying is true."

"Then tell me the part you know," she says patiently. "We'll start there."

He kind of likes the way she says that's where they'll start like she already knows that's not gonna be the end of it. And how she's just supporting him and listening and…it's good. It's really, really good. And he's pretty sure it's half of the reason he had the guts to say anything in the first place, because he knew she'd be on his side.

He finishes the small bite of banana bread he'd taken and then turns in his chair to look at her head-on. "Okay, well you know she was trash-talking and that's what started the whole dodgeball thing," he says. "I guess that's kind of the beginning." Rachel just nods while he swallows. "Well, then _after_ the game, she came up to me at school and said she was gonna apologize."

"Wait… _Santana_?" She cuts him off with her hand in the air and a confused look on her face.

"Yes," he confirms. "So…anyway, she started off okay except she kinda insulted Rory to do it, but…not the point. Then she just kinda unleashed a bunch of garbage and…and it wasn't so much trash-talking anymore, you know? It was vicious." He sighs. "She said her piece and then walked off and…and I told her she should just come out of the closet."

Rachel rears back. "You… you what? _In the middle of the hall at school_?"

He nods and looks down and this is…well, maybe it's not going to go so well for him. He didn't think she'd be anything less than understanding about it. He didn't do anything wrong.

But it's the first time he falters. Did he do something wrong?

"Anyway, I um…she was walking away and she never turned around so I said it all to her back but I told her I thought it would suck if you had to not tell people you were in love with someone and that I think she's a coward. 'Cause all she does is tears everyone down, like, all the time. I think she does it to herself the worst but…"

"_In the hall_?" Rachel stands up. "Finn…" Her hands are on her hips.

He probably did something wrong.

"Look…it wasn't the nicest thing I've ever done, but all I did was say the truth. The stuff _she_ said was way worse and…and you know, she just kinda goes for the jugular and so I guess I did it back to her but…"

She presses her lips together and stares at him. "What exactly did she say about _you_?" She kind of looks like it's all coming together for her, though—what he said, what Santana said, why Santana was so sensitive about what he was saying in Rachel's ear which…well. Only part of it was how good the girl choir was. The rest of it was some filthy stuff that _neither_ of them were gonna repeat in the auditorium because it wasn't really related anyway.

He's pretty sure he doesn't need to bring up her saying Rachel was right, or how Santana slept with him. Rachel knows both those things and all it's gonna do is distract her. "She said I can't sing and I can't dance and I'm just gonna ride your coattails my whole life."

Rachel lets out a long breath and it takes her a minute to answer. "I understand," she says. She steps over to him and puts her hands on his shoulders. "I don't know why she's as antagonistic toward you specifically as she is; probably because you've never really come back at her before. And I know when she said that, it provoked you because that goes deeper than her normal insults. It's your greatest fear." Her hand lands on the spot Santana slapped and her fingers are cool to the touch and it's nice. "But…outing her in the school hallway isn't the same thing as a _comeback_. She was reaching for an insult because you're a good person, Finn, and she latched onto the only thing she could. I don't think she's a good person—I think she's terrible, actually—but you did the same thing. You lowered yourself to her level in some ways, but you did it with way more sensitive information." She's still rubbing her fingers over the spot on his cheek that's gone numb, and he wonders if it's red or something because she seems to know exactly where it is. "You probably need to figure out exactly why she reacted the way she did. But it's not going to be easy because I have a feeling she's going to be even more hostile than normal now. And you probably need to at least apologize for the way it was handled. It sounds like she needs a good friend and…well, you're definitely one of those."

"I don't want to be her friend," he says openly after a long pause. "I don't even _like_ her anymore."

"All the more reason to try," Rachel says. "Look. There aren't that many consequences for you when you're openly yourself. You are just sort of universally loved when you're the person you normally are. The rest of us don't have it that easy. And when it comes to things like sexual orientation, it's a _way_ bigger deal because it's such a hot-button thing. She's facing rejection everywhere in her life by coming out. We may know and be okay with it, but you don't know what her parents are going to say." Her eyes flip over to the side and her voice gets lower. "My Daddy's parents disowned him. She may not be ready to face that."

He swallows and finally opens his eyes and looks at her. "They don't… _that's_ why you don't talk to them? I thought they just lived far away."

"No. They live in Dayton," she says. "He hasn't talked to them in almost twenty years. I've never met them and my dad has only seen them once as far as I know." Her fingers slide down to his shoulders. "The thing about the people you love… you're going to prove what she said wrong. The things you're afraid of can be undone and proven wrong. The things she's afraid of _can't_."

"How do I fix that?" He asks. She smiles and he _knows_ why. It's because she's been in this situation, coming to him for this kind of advice, and now it's like the tables are turned. And in this situation, it's not like he can remember his own advice so he's leaning on her because that's how it works.

"You have nothing to lose by being the bigger person," Rachel says. "Figure out all of what's going on. Talk to Mr. Schuester and get the entire story. Rectify the damage, because she said something about _everyone_ knowing, which makes me think the information is going viral." She licks her lips a little. "Chances are she wants you to stay out of it; but all you can do is offer to be a friend."

"I don't _want_ to be her friend."

Rachel nods and takes in a deep breath, then lets it out slowly, and he thinks she thinks he's being difficult. "Well…at your heart, Finn, you're a kind person and I've heard it said that kindness can cure a broken heart. So I guess the question is if you're feeling kind."

He lets in a deep breath and he thinks Rachel might be the one that's difficult. She's got impossible expectations and unfailing belief in him, and sometimes it's hard to live up to and hard to know what she wants him to do. "Okay, well… will you help me?"

She lets out a disbelieving laugh. "I'm _not_ a kind person."

"You withdrew from the president's race," he points out.

"Even that was selfish," she says, looking down. "I got something out of it because I got my friendship with Kurt back. The difference here is you're probably just going to see someone through something they need help with. You're not going to get anything out of it."

His face is starting to hurt a little bit. Maybe that's what he's supposed to get out of it, because leaving it as any sort of revenge? That hurts a little bit, too.


	2. Author's Note continued

This might be dumb to even post considering I marked this story complete and it's not like many people have it on alert, but there is a sequel posted that is a Finn/Kurt conversation to follow up. Since it's classed differently, I know the Finchel filter won't catch it and wanted to let y'all know in case you're interested. It's called **Don't Ask for Much but an Open Mind** and can be found under my profile. I'm trying to do a Santana-sided one, too, but I'm not sure how that will turn out or if it will be posted. Thanks so much for reading, reviewing, and reblogging/liking.


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